I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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