you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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