ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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