her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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