you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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