therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
