Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have already put on my inside pants.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
