thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
