Small penises have feelings too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
