You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
