my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
