nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize