he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So. Much. Porn.
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