...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize