Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
