Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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