If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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