There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
