im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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