week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
