About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
