I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
