so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
