Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize