is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
