How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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