Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
