Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
