If i come over, it means nothing
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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