There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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