guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize