He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize