quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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