spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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