i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
