He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
