Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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