So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
