come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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