The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
