dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
