Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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