Your mouth is God's brothel.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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