Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
