gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize