dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
