worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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