All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
