It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
