yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
