Can Purell be used as lube?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
