Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
