You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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