when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
