that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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