So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
