Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
