no, he came in my armpit
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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