The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
