For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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