If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
