So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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