i permit you to call me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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