Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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