they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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