You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
