I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
